Tina my dear. We spent about 1/4 of our lives in school together, and I've spent years trying to re-connect with you. I'm so dismayed to finally catch up with you this way, and I hope you continued to live as brilliantly as I remember you. When you were on FaceBook, it looked like you were up to amazing globe trotting adventures, but rarely in SF, and then one day, you shut down your account and I haven't been able to see or contact you. We all missed you at the Hamlin 25th this last year and wished you were there. So I'm going to write you a letter and I wish it could reach you. It is mostly for me, but I hope your other friends and family read it and find some solace in it as well. When I met you, we were about 8, the same age as my big boy is now. We didn't feel as young as he seems because it was the late 70's and back then children were treated much more like adults. You would make corny jokes in French and I could hail a cab. What trouble we caused! You were a provocateur and I was a shy kid with no friends, so game for anything that didn't poke at my quiet core too hard. It was easy to become friends because we liked the same books. You invited me over to eat cookies after school, to spend the night in your celedon green bedroom staying up late telling secrets and scary stories. As we got older we went to the country where we secretly crashed a scooter and hid the evidence. We walked past the boys school slowly to look but never stopped to talk. We sneaked out at night just to wander the neighborhood and go to the swings. Always such a thrill, never getting into any real danger. When we graduated 8th grade, your elegant mother let you throw the party of the century with a real dj and counter culture dress up. When we went to high school, we both went far across the golden gate (I to avoid my over involved mother), you probably to get roses in your cheeks, so we carpooled daily. Then the calls started... for the younger readers, let me explain that before the internet, teenagers relied on wired phones to connect at night-time, and very lucky teens like Tina, had their own line, in their rooms. Every night for hours we'd recap our days, what did he wear, what did she say, what did it mean, and how did we feel about it? You told me to get over myself because I had the "best legs in the sophmore class" I told you it didn't really matter what so-and-so said because he wasn't really that cool anyway. Then one day, you had a boyfriend. You spent a lot of time together, and made out ALL THE TIME. and the carpooling continued, but the calls stopped. And then you made your boyfriend make fun of me. I wasn't sure if I made you mad or what happened, but it was a funny time for us. Now I know all teenage girls are just jerks to their friends sometimes. I blame the patriarchy. I got to be friends with your then ex-boyfriend when we went to college together, and we are still super tight, but I lost touch with you. We still warmly refer to you "Tina Cute". You invited me to your debutante party at the last minute. I was scheduled to work at my cafe job which seemed more important because it was the only job anyone in our family had at the time, and I probably didn't have the social graces to talk it out with you. I hope that didn't hurt your feelings or make you feel rejected. Anyway, now I've grown into a provacateur as well. It took me years and you have been one of my finest models for it. I've missed you for years, and really wish we could have grown old together. I hope your family can find some peace. Love Elizabeth Petro